A Dzi bead from Tibet was on its way to Hong Kong for an exhibition,
but was stolen by a mysterious gang with a possible link to
a long-lost cult, the Gemini Clan. The guardian of the Dzi
bead, Lucky and his adopted son, Hey tried to solicit the
help of the head of the Clan, the Principal, to track down
the bead.
Unwilling
to come out of retirement, the Principal refused to get involved,
but when Lucky was seriously wounded after another attack
by the mysterious gang, the Principal reluctantly summoned
the help of the Clan’s former member – Twins.
In
the meantime, the suicide of an artifact dealer put the police
hot on the heels of the Principal and his students. When Hey
finally retrieved the bead, he mistakenly handed it to the
Principal’s twin brother, the Boss, who was the master
mind behind the theft in an attempt to take over a prime piece
of property along the coast.
Movie
Review:
Twins Mission is of no relation to Twins Effect, but it could
well have been: shoddy, terrible movies. A half campy, half
serious movie that switches from epic, classical music to
obscenely tacky techno the next, Twins Mission is one confused
movie trying to play the blockbuster card. Badly.
Twins Mission stars Gillian Cheung and Charlene Choi, as the
name seems to suggest, along with HK movie big wigs Sammo
Hung and Yuen Wah. Unfortunately, the twins aren’t really
the stars of the show. In fact, screen time and plot lines
are so convolutedly planned none of the characters seem to
take the mantle to carry and guide the story along. The show
starts with Lucky (Sammo Hung) and his disciple (played by
a creditable Wu Jing) chasing down the Heavenly Bead artifact
amidst a parachuting, training hopping battle with their antagonists.
The bead eventually gets lost amidst the fisticuffs and the
story ensues in a classic, good versus evil artifact hunting
film that culminates in a grand climax. The Twins? They but
are two of eight twins summoned to find the Heavenly Bead.
Right
from the off, computer-generated images were used for this
pretty well-budgeted movie. Visually, they were beautiful,
but they looked computer-generated. Director Kong Tao Hoi
falls into the infamous habit of, on a spur, engaging CGI
that look good in animated films but are clearly awkward in
real, action films. Twins Mission is unfortunately crippled
throughout: the use of extravagant effects, sound-track, CGI,
action scenes, all strung together by a flimsy plot strung
together as a means to the visual feast, as opposed to them
being tools to telling a compelling story. Twins Mission wields
a plot so contrived the movie seems like twenty movie ideas
snipped and trimmed in the editing room and pieced together.
The de-facto lead of the movie, Beijing Drama Academy graduate
and rising kungfu star Wu Jing, puts up an extremely credible
performance, marred by overly cheesy emotional scenes that
never fit into the plot flow. In one scene, Wu’s character
hold a toy rally car and knocks into a another character in
a hospital, only to find out she drives the exact model. Extravagant,
symphonic soundtrack plays as he gazes out of the window with
a benign smile, seemingly at the coincidence, in a horrifyingly
goosebump raising moment. The audience hasn’t even begun
to know the characters properly to feel anything for them!
Twins Mission mistakenly assumes tiresome and countless plot
links for depth, intricacy and good story. Amidst such dramatic
plot lines, we even see Charlene, in an adsurdly slapstick
scene, clamp a attacking snake with her mouth and crack jokes
about eye discharge. Twins Mission bumbles form an either
melodramatic or slapstick scene to another, akin to a pre-school
essay written by a child who has learnt all about conflicts
and climaxes without caring for absolutely any form of rising
or falling action.
Does Twins Mission know its target market? Being the confused
film that it is, it can hardly be recommended either as a
movie for adults and certainly not as a festive movie or a
family movie. The cringe-worthy jokes and comedy were so overwhelmingly
childish most discerning movie-goers will feel uneasy. Yet,
action scenes were totally overwhelming. Who should watch
it?
Action
scenes come at you along the lines of two male twins dragging
their female antagonist across a table and smashing her face
into every countless computer monitors leaving her scarred
and presumably dead, while swinging another round and round
before smashing her head into a side ornament. The Twins joke
about ‘G-Cup” breasts, while Wu Jing’s character
is shown in a graphic car accident scene hitting the bumper
and completely, clearly rolling over the top and landing on
the ground. He eventually disposes of the key antagonist by
flinging razor-blade-like objects into his eyes and throwing
him through a glass window down a skyscraper. This movie makes
no apology for its wanton and irresponsible use of violence
and fails to at least show that they do not condone the violence.
Surely the protagonists could have frowned or shown scripted
remorse?
A
movie that is lazy in screenplay, script, plot, direction
and social responsibility ranks low on a recommendation list.
The Hong Kong movie scene has seen a semi-revival with Infernal
Affairs, Confessions of Pain and surely, it does not deserve
such lukewarm mainstream fare? A perfect example of what Twins
could have been was Seoul Raiders, which mixed action, camp
and eye candy in a family-friendly, entertaining fare that
was visually and mentally engaging. If not for Wu Jing’s
promising performance, Twins Mission had little to show for
such a flashy, big-budget production. Flashing, in cheesy
fonts at the ends of the movie “Watch till the end if
you want to know the ending”(or something along those
lines) was the final straw in a lack of class, production
quality and taste.
Movie Rating:
(Twins Mission turned out to be one that was impossible
to accomplish!)
