Opening Day: 6 Sept 2007

Synopsis:

The script revolves around Aubrey Fleming (Lohan), a young woman who is rescued after being abducted and tortured by a serial killer. When Fleming returns home, she claims to be someone else, raising questions as to whether she is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder or if something more sinister is going on.

Movie Review:

Lindsay Lohan had it easy. Apparently, the troublemaking star wasn’t able to do promotion for this movie because of her DUI arrest. We would have been terribly sorry if she had to do promotional tours and face journalists who will bombard her with questions why she actually said yes to star in this crap of a movie.

The Disney alumna (whatever would Mickey Mouse say?) plays a cheery and smart girl named Aubrey Flemming who gets abducted by a serial killer. After she escapes from the psycho, she begins acting crazy and audiences are expected to watch out for a twisted ending which would apparently shock the wits out of you.

The problem is, we can’t concentrate on the plot when there is so much trash going on throughout its 101-minute runtime. First, there’s Lohan dancing around a pole (she believes she is Dakota Moss, an exotic dancer after her close shave with the mad man). Then there are countless scenes of Lohan’s finger being chopped off, rotting, decomposing and decaying in the most gruesome manner (cheap computer effects not withstanding). Oh, and we are not forgetting Lohan’s sex scenes with some young adolescent boy in the bedroom. It’s almost offensive and unpleasant to watch them get it on (here’s a spoiler – it happens after she escapes handicapped from the kidnapper).

Even if we tried concentrating on the plot, it is so ludicrous and outlandish that no self-respecting movie-goer would approve of it. What’s with Neal McDonough (The Hitcher) and Julia Ormond’s (Smilla’s Sense of Snow) constant constipated look? If we were the psychotic girl’s parents, we would have given up on her long ago. What’s with the pseudo-mysterious cloud of dark blue hues that irritates instead of mystifies? What’s with the tacky music that keeps blaring in the background?

Director Chris Sivertson had better not make another movie any time soon, because critics everywhere will be watching out to pounce on him – not that any movie production company would be looking for him anytime soon too. As for Lohan, we’d suggest she stick to wholesome family fun – Herbie would be happy to take her back if she is lucky.

Movie Rating:

(This is a bad movie. Period)

Review by John Li