SYNOPSIS:
As
sickness and death ravage 14th century Florence, the city's
lusty young men and chaste maidens flee to the countryside
for a bit of ravaging of their own. But for charming scoundrel
Lorenzo di Lamberti, the only woman that sets his heart ablaze
is the orphaned beauty Pampinea who is also being pursued
by an obsessed Russian count and a wicked nobleman who has
vowed to take her virtue.
MOVIE REVIEW:
On the surface, Virgin Territory appears to be a
funny, irreverent and witty take of traditional swashbuckling
adventures.
In reality, it is anything but funny, irreverent or witty.
Instead, this toned down and dumbed down loose adaptation
of The Decameron by Boccacio manages nary a laugh, and plods
on without much sense of direction.
The story unfolds under the narration of a painter, a la Michelangelo,
who spends his time perched high above the church floors observing
the drama of other people’s lives down below. But what
droll this narration initially promises soon descends into
dread.
Much blame falls squarely on the shoulders of writer/director
David Leland (Mona Lisa, Wish You Were Here), because this
third-person narration quickly loses its bite. Not only are
the lines flat, but Leland appears to be floundering in how
he intends to tie in the story of the narrator cum painter
with that of the central theme of Lorenzo and Pampinea. So
much so therefore that it seems more as an afterthought than
a crucial piece in the puzzle.
Not that however there is much to engage you. For a story
that appears to eschew the formula of such swashbuckling movies
(where the hero saves the fair maiden from the clutches of
the evil and powerful nobleman), Virgin Territory is disappointingly
pedestrian and tame. Besides developing exactly as you would
expect it to, the raunchy and boisterous romp that it promises
to be never materializes. Instead, the supposedly tantalizing
sex scenes between Lorenzo and the nuns at the convent are
embarrassingly juvenile, quickly fizzling out without even
any sizzle.
To be sure, the cast does appear promising, what with Jumper’s
Hayden Christensen and The OC’s Mischa Barton, and even
The Incredible Hulk’s baddie Tim Roth. However, their
performances are surprisingly lacklustre. In fact, Hayden
Christensen seems almost awkward being in the role of Lorenzo,
failing to inject enough pizzazz as the Casanova-lover. But
it is Mischa Barton who looks horribly miscast in the role,
looking ostensibly more contemporary than a 14th century fair
maiden.
What this all adds up to is a terrible attempt at creating
a modern-day spin of a classic adventure. There are some boundaries
that should never be crossed, and Virgin Territory is best
kept out of bounds.
SPECIAL FEATURES :
None.
AUDIO/VISUAL:
The audio
here is presented only in Dolby Digital 2.0, though there
aren’t many scenes here that deserve to be experienced
at a better level. Visual transfer is good enough.
MOVIE RATING:
 
DVD
RATING :
Review
by Gabriel Chong
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